Lost Coin Class Notes April 15, 2008

Daniel asked how students felt about the retreat in Boulder and what there experience had been upon coming back to Salt Lake.

A few students experienced a severe and uncomfortable disruption in returning to their everyday lives.  Other students seemed to have had a smoother transition to returning to daily life.  Daniel suggested that the transition does smooth out over time, just as the discomfort of sitting itself smooths out over time.

Students also talked about how they felt that the environment of the retreat was very loving and support.  There was some contrasting this type of retreat to a purely silent retreat.  Each has its place but it is nice to build some intimacy and comfort between group members so that you are not distracted by thoughts of what you THINK is going on in the social dynamic. A silent retreat may be appropriate in the future but for now, it is nice that the group is able to sit with more silence because the interpersonal stuff is not under wraps.

Daniel had some thoughts about why it is disruptive to sit mediation and then return to everyday life.  Sitting dismantles the ego   Yang males and females will feel disheveled because they are used to a certain ego structure.  Then you end up feeling very vulnerable as a result of the retreat.  Daniel also remembers struggling after retreats because during the retreat you were living out of a different place.

Sitting with depth as happens during a retreat will dismantle whatever you came with.  If you were worried before or nervous etc, it will shift while you are on retreat.  If you came in feeling pretty good and okay with things, you probably will not feel that way coming out.

Retreats show you where your practice will go.  It helps that the group trusts each other.  Daniel watches to see when to intervene and he noticed that on the first nigh of the retreat at dinner, the group divided into two groups at two tables with the students who have been part of the group longer at one table and newer students at the other.  Daniel was not sure that this was best but realized that everyone seemed fine and happy and he decided not to do anything about it.  The group's ability to trust other students and feel secure in the intimacy of the group is key.

Students talked about falling into habitual practices.  Daniel noted that in Zen literature compilations of writings between teachers there was commentary that the sitting is the key.  If you do not regularly sit and continue to do it, you will fall into habitual patterns.  Think of it as you would think of working out your body.  If you do not continue to work your muscles, you will lose muscle.  It is the same with sitting.  It is a zigzag development, sometimes strong, sometimes not, but with continuous and regularity you will develop that muscle.

Beliefs

Reality is what is left when you stop your view.  You do not need to seek reality, just stop views.

Beliefs are inner-considering that you developed long ago.  You really don't need any beliefs in order to live your life.  Beliefs just stop you from seeing things as they are. We have some really big beliefs that we should challenge.  We have beliefs about relationships, career, money.  What is the evidence though on which you base these beliefs.  Actually look and observe what is happening; figure out what is actually happening in response to an action.

Watch out for thinking "should."  Money "should" make you happy.  Not having money "should" make you unhappy.  I "should" be in a relationship.  My children "should".

All of the things you think through are beliefs.  Try operating only on evidence.  Try something and see what happens- do you like the result?  If not, there's your evidence.

This goes back to one of the things we discussed on retreat.  The difference between the Hinayana, Mahayana, and Vajrayana Buddhism.   Hinayana is very black and white.  Don't kill, means do not ever kill anything.  Mahayana and Vajrayana allow killing according to circumstances.  Looking at the circumstances is the key.

Money, fake breasts, marriage or not- all of these things bring up judgments, opinions, beliefs.  These and many things are triggers but if you look at the individual circumstances, all are okay or not okay dependent on circumstances.

Everything you need to know, you can find out evidentiarily without beliefs prior to discovering.

A lot of belief is fear.  You must do this or that.  It must be this way or, if not, bad things will happen.

Start by looking at your personal beliefs first.  It's hard to separate out beliefs.  Different that emotions, which you can usually tease out.  Beliefs are so mixed in that it is hard to see that they are not based on evidence.

The less you have a point of view, the more you can embrace any point of view.

It is possible to have a society where there are no beliefs.  This would be an enlightened society.  Our country was supposed to be founded on the idea that freedom of belief is no belief as primary or the center of the society. No belief allows democracy.

We don't need clubs, fraternities, and associations.  We don't need to be called "Buddhist" because this factionalizes people.

Daniel's dad was a Marxist.  He would say, is it right for one person to go to a movie and dinner while someone else cannot eat?  What are you to believe?

One of our beliefs is that we MUST have beliefs in order to live our lives or that everything would fall apart.

What do you want?  Get rid of your beliefs about what this means and what the ramifications are.  Just be bold and chose what you want.  No one cares what you do really.  Don't justify your actions and in-actions with beliefs. Why do you feel you need to tell people WHY you are allowed to act in a certain way or want a certain thing?  You need to be outside of these beliefs.  You cannot see it while you are entrenched in them.

As Don Juan in the Carlos Castenadas books says, "For a Warrior things are not good or bad, there are challenges but you are always free."

In relationships, we can lose our wants and believe that the other person understands things better.  That they see more clearly.  That their beliefs are true and you are wrong.  They have their own agenda.  Be a warrior.

Think about how much more fun you would be having if you just did what you like and what comes naturally to you.  We aren't here long enough to spend time being timid and scared of what is happening to you.

This is how we live:   If only...  If only.  If only.  DEAD.

Don't live like this.

Assignment:  Take time this week, and write down if you can, the beliefs that you are operating on.  You'll be amazed.  Fear is ruining your life.
